Jane's Posts

Mar 14 2004 10:36 pm

What do you guys consider appropriate for 16 2/3? Good grades. Driving.

jane

Mar 15 2004 8:08 pm

Weekends are a different story. Clubs close in our small town at 2 am, so she could be as late as 2.30, before I'd worry. Yes, she did go and succeed in getting into clubs at the age of 16.

I just can't handle this. Not clubs, necessarily, but parties. I don't want her going to parties with sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Or beer. I'm not ready.

jane

Mar 15 2004 8:10 pm

Jane, in your shoes, I'd be saying, "What the hell do I need a curfew for *Lee* for?" That's what I'd be saying. She's getting what, straight A's? Good head on her shoulders, never lies about where she's going to be, tells you up front if there's any issue, doesn't ignore safety issues to be part of the crowd, not sexually active and doesn't do drugs, I'd make sure she always kept her cell phone charged and that she knew we were going to revisit it if I ever had any cause for concern, and let it go.

Did she pay you? She clearly briefed you - and all my friends here - on what to say. It's a conspiracy.

jane

Mar 16 2004 12:17 am

Well, what are you not ready for? Are you afraid she'll get talked into something she doesn't want to do? Are you afraid she'll get her drink spiked, or what?
Anne

You know what I love about my kid?

My friend asked me what I thought could happen, and I said, "All sorts of things could happen at parties. You could get drunk and throw up or be sitting beside the guy someone shoots or have sex with someone and not remember why."

Lee said, "Well, this clearly isn't about me."

jane

Mar 19 2004 10:46 am

Jane, did Lee get served over here? Or do I need to ask Lee?
Nikki

She said that she never ordered alcohol without an adult. It's funny over here. When I was growing up, if the parents didn't object, the waiter would serve the kids. Nowadays, you can have wine with dinner at home, but not in restaurants.

jane

Mar 19 2004 10:54 am

Of course. The phone was supposed to be *off*. That was the rule that I imposed on them, so as to satisfy the school's need for order, which was the reason for the "no cell phones/pagers" rule in the first place.

Lee's is supposed to be on vibrate, but she usually doesn't have network at her school anyway.

On a related note, cell phones used to be banned here. Then they had those shootings at high schools here, and they rescinded the rule.

jane

Mar 21 2004 11:21 am

After a year of driving when I'd integrated that enough, I returned to occasional drinking and not driving, and occasional driving and not drinking. Then over time it balanced out and I will have one drink with a meal or after a meal and still drive, but only one, never more. Mind you my Dad got done for drink driving twice when I was a child and being witness to what a year-long ban does to a person did a lot to motivate me to never drink and drive.

Here, at least with girls, that drivers license seems to be their most closely guarded possession. I don't really worry about Lee drinking and driving. She and her friends flatly refuse to drive anyone around before their "six months." They have designated drivers.

One of her friends recently got in trouble with her parents for not coming home all night. Turns out she couldn't drive home because she was drinking. So even though she knew she'd be screwed the next day, she still didn't drive home.

I'm getting into a much better place with this BTW. Thanks, everyone.

jane