Jane's Posts

Feb 24 2004 2:24 pm

My SO has this mentality that he is a "single father."

Yabbut, he *is* a single father. This isn't some delusion he has.

And I think he always will. Yet on the other hand he wants me there for him and his kids. But who am I? I mean, where do I fit in....I get so lost at times, not knowing where to turn, but yet when he works out of town for days at a time...who does he leave them with?

Taking care of someone's kids doesn't make you their parent. You're temporarily responsible, the AIC.

Couples figure out different approaches that fit their relationships and the kids involved. The bottom line is that your SO is responsible for everything, food, clothing, shelter, book reports, clean clothes, and guidance. Some of that you might feel willing and competent to share in, and some of it he might be willing to delegate. Your role is where your comfort zone and his overlap.

jane

Feb 24 2004 4:29 pm

These kids are grade schoolers. You don't fight with them. You can tell them how it is going to be.

LOL. Geri, you can't run them by remote control.

Grade school aged children making their own lunches seems a little odd to me, but what the hell, if it works it works. In this case it doesn't seem to be working, so I don't really get why the father isn't whipping up the PB&J and putting it in a little brown bag the night before. Maybe the kids making their own lunches is a Wendy innovation and one which is going over like a lead balloon. Maybe Dad is stopping at McD's in the morning. Maybe he's giving them a couple of bucks for lunch.

But that wasn't her question.

jane

Feb 25 2004 1:42 pm

But I also agree, if he wants to keep the "single" attitude, then he should be looking elsewhere besides "ME" for sitters when he is out of town for days.

That's the point. Instead of fighting about what he is willing to do or to let you do, think about what you are and are not willing to do.

jane