Jane's Posts

Feb 07 2004 11:04 am

I've been home from work having had an operation on my nose/sinuses

Eww. Bad.

I've been rethinking what I want to do with my life and toying with going back to do a part time doctorate in something.

Yeah. Good.

She's angry though, somehow instead of making her feel positive about finding study skills and other techniques to help, she feels differently about herself.

Yeah, well, Wendy, that's to be expected. You just cannot realistically expect her to skip right over the little yellow bus aspect of this. Let her grieve a little.

As if that weren't enough, a fortnight ago my YD had some friends to sleep over - three girls only one of whom I had any previous experience of,

What people seem to do in this situation is talk to the other girls' parents. I think it's like head lice. You really, really don't want to make that call and discuss this with a total stranger, but as a parent you know you would want them to call you.

Finally, my partner has been quite depressed of late and it seems to stem from issues related to his sense of impotence about effecting changes of behaviour with my children

Sorry he's blue. I don't know why he ever thought he could effect changes in your children's behavior. You guys were together forever, and he's old enough to know better than to go into a relationship expecting to change the other person.

who have been expecting us to do a lot for them, but really haven't been doing much in return.

Okay, but I'm surprised that you are expecting them to do things in return for what you do for them. You do what you do for them because you're their parent and you love them and it's your job. They do what they do for you because they want something. j/k But there's no quid pro quo between you. What you do for them, they do for their kids decades from now.

jane

Feb 07 2004 12:27 pm

I agree with this, but I also see what Wendy's saying. Sure it's her job, but everyone likes to feel cared about enough that someone else will lend a hand willingly once in a while.

Yeah, I had a little knee jerk there. It was the depressed because he can't change their behavior thing. It's in that not owning your own shit area that bugs me. If you're depressed get antidepressants or exercise more or do whatever you have to do for your problem. Don't give me a list of chores.

Just yesterday, though, my son called me at work and said he was shoveling the driveway for me before I got home. If you knew my son, you'd know why I almost dropped to the floor in a faint hearing that. He also said "thank you" when I took him to dinner. Two little things, but it's a beginning.

Yeah! Oh, no, though, your baby is all grown up.

jane

Feb 13 2004 12:38 am

Let her find out what it is like when nobody puts her towel back on the rail.

That would be my house, where fresh towels are used daily and wet ones accumulate in a heap. Eventually, Lee runs out and washes them.

But she has her own bathroom. I can see it could get dicey if she didn't. I think I would throw out all the towels and buy everyone one terry robe. In fact, I am pretty sure that I have done that. Funny how they creep back, though; Lee must have two weeks worth now.

jane