Jane's Posts

Feb 23 2004 10:59 am

Some of the stepmoms here would have to worry about the biomom not being there for her kids, but being there to take the opportunity to tell everyone how wronged she was and what a bastard the deceased was.

You know, though, you really can't ruin a funeral. It's not like a wedding. The dead body keeps things in a little better perspective.

I'm thinking over the different types of death rituals that I've attended. I think the church funeral is the way to go for keeping the ex-wife in check. Preferably a cathedral. If you have one of those services where you're invited to talk about the deceased, you're screwed. I think you should have a wake so that she gets the chance to throw herself on the coffin and sob, "Oh, Ex, why did you leave me?"

While we're on the subject, what is the etiquette on this? The current wife has to stand near the casket and greet people. What do you do about the kids? Until recently, Lee would have wanted me to stand there with her. What do people do?

jane

Feb 23 2004 11:22 am

Well, I think the balance is at the place where you decide that the ex-wife is capable of coming to the service and not being a distraction, causing a scene, knowing when to leave, and not upsetting anybody. Ours isn't. Maybe some people's are.

Yabbut, Anne. You can count on the attendees already being upset. Scenes and distractions that leave them reflecting "at least he doesn't have to deal with that harpy anymore" are not a bad thing.

My MIL would have a stroke.


When her time comes, her time comes.

My SIL would be in a fistfight with BM in the first ten minutes.

Outside or inside? Because if they stayed outside, I'd be in favor of it.

I'm just saying, get a grip. You're not giving a party. Your husband is lying in a box dead. No one expects you to monitor who shows up.

jane

Feb 23 2004 11:31 am

It's not really that big a deal to me, and certainly not worth causing a bigger scene myself by trying to keep her out. That would be exactly what my BM (And Anne's and I suspect Geri) would want anyway.
Love, Melissa

Absolutely. What could be better than a "they posted armed guards at his funeral" story in your repertoire? I don't know that Anne's BM could really do it justice. She'd probably go with outrage instead of deep sadness.

jane