Jane's Posts

June 19 1998

I will be meeting my fiance's son very soon. He is 4 1/2 years old and has heard nothing but bad things about me from his mother. What should I expect from a child that age? When he is with his father he asks questions about me and asks why mommy won't let him see me, he never speaks bad about me. I actually think he's kind of curious. I'm looking forward to meeting him, but I'm so afraid he's going to reject me. I don't know if I can handle that. Any advice?

Don't take it personally, if he rejects you. He doesn't know YOU. Don't worry ahead of time either. If you are all tense, he'll get nervous.

More important, don't expect too much. A 4 1/2 yo is not necessarily an angel, or even a person with whom you want to spend time. It's a funny age. There is a lot of whining, demanding, yelling, and refusal to let anyone help them do anything. And they stop taking naps! OTOH, you can do all kinds of fun stuff at this age, like painting, gardening, soccer, cooking, housework (!), swimming, going to the zoo, etc. Just don't make the mistake of thinking they will do anything for more than a few hours.

The 4 yo's I have known liked costumes, fake tattoos, animals, water balloons, non scary rides, brushing my hair, washing dishes, The Wizard of Oz, nail polish, face painting, hot dogs and french fries, not necessarily in that order.

jane