Sunday, June 28, 1998
Don't impose punishments that are too much work to enforce
June 28 1998
My daughter, 15, has been going through some tough times judgement-wise and this culmulated in her being arrested for shoplifting two weekends ago.
[snip]
She is grounded from all activities which might take her out of my sight and she has accepted this gracefully, also.
The problem is that she wants to go to a concert at the end of July that I would have to go to also since it is out of town. We would be taking one of her 'responsible' friends.
[snip]
Part of me wants to give her the benefit of the doubt but I have done that in the past with continuing disasters. Part of me wants to go ahead with plans because of the grief that she will create if she can't go and my fear that she may just take off.
That's all, folks. Any advice would be appreciated.
I actually was just in this situation! My 15 yo was not arrested, though.
I grounded her from phone, tv, going out, etc. for a month. It was worse for me than it was for her. I don't know how you will take it for more than a month. I wish I had included more work as part of her punishment.
If the concert is at the end of July, you have plenty of time to let her earn the reprieve. Why don't you tell her that you will take her as long as she does all the yard work/dishes/laundry for a month? That way you won't feel like you are being hustled. It makes the decision hers. Just make sure your terms include her doing the job without having to be reminded 16 times.
jane
