Jane's Posts

April 3 1998

I am curious if anyone is familiar with a step-parent receiving any sort of visitation with step-children after a seperation with their bio-parent? My ex-SO is a NCP of 4 1/2 year old F. I have been involved since F was 1 1/2. We recently seperated (on very good terms) and I am maintaining a relationship with F. He spends the night at my house approx. 1 night a week and I see him regularly at preschool (where I am teacher). My question is in regards to summer visitation. Father only has F for 2 weeks in summer. For the past 2 years we have taken F to Floridia for a vacation with my family. Because father's summer time is so short, he doesn't want to give up a week of it for my family (since we are no longer together). As the weather is getting nicer, F keeps asking me about Florida. I have been very non-commital, but am wondering if there is any way for me to receive a weeks worth of summer vacation from his Mom. Unfortunately, I think her response is going to be that it should come out of father's two weeks. Does anybody have any advice on how to approach Mom? Or is anybody familiar with any legal cases similiar to this? Any advice is appreciated.

I have heard of a case where a former SO was awarded visitation rights, but I forget the details.

I do not understand why you are considering this route. Bringing up the whole issue of legal action seems way out of line here. If you are on reasonably good terms with K's mom, then you should be able to discuss this openly. I gather that you have not yet. If K is bringing it up to you, then he is probably bringing it up to her too, right? Just mention to SO that you are going to Florida again this year and invite K to join you. Tell her he has been asking if he can go.

Don't make this a power or control issue between you and SO. You have good visitation as it is. It sounds to me like you are looking for a fight. Btw, if SO does not let K go to Florida without her, that does not make her unreasonable; he is only 4.

jane