Jane's Posts

April 16 1998

Our 3 month old baby has started crying loudly when we lay him in his crib even if he has been asleep. He is fine when we pick him up so it's not discomfort. Any suggestions? (Please don't tell me to sleep with him because there isn't enough room in our bed for the 3 of us.) We'd like him to learn to go to sleep on his own. How long should we let him cry?

Please don't make your baby cry. He is crying because he needs you, not because he wants to stay up for the Simpsons. If he needs you to hold him at bed time, hold him.

I know this is a lot easier for me to say, as my child is now 10 and goes to bed promptly at 8:00. When MY baby was three months old, I was ready to tear my hair out. I moved her out of the bassinette beside the bed into the crib. I never once put her into her crib without her startling, waking up, and starting to cry. I am not kidding, I never once got it right. I could coo to her and rub her back for hours, but she just had to be picked up. When I picked her up she quieted and went back to sleep, but she woke up as soon as I tried to put her in that crib again.

Eventually, I just let her sleep in our bed. I understand that you don't want to do this. Since my baby inevitably slept sideways kicking me and her father in all our most sensitive places, I can see your point. We got a king size bed.

When she was a little older, I put a movie on for her in her room. She fell asleep watching the Wizard of Oz every night for three years. I know people will yell at me for this, and at the time I wondered if I weren't doing my child a disservice. I used to worry that she wouldn't be able to go to sleep by herself. I was afraid that she would have nightmares about flying monkies. The only side effect I have ever seen is her penchant for red shoes.

Anyway, my point is that everything worked out fine despite all my self-torture. My daughter falls asleep every night reading a book. She sleeps like a log. She never complains about going to bed. It's all a total non-issue. I think it is because she always felt secure falling asleep at night, first with us, then with the cowardly lion.

jane